As I was building my life, there was a time when things got very difficult and challenging for me.
In 2009, I was diagnosed with a chronic lung disease. I was in and out of the hospital with pneumonia. I had to take off from my job, sometimes months at a time. I had to be pushed around in a wheelchair; and as a result of that, I took on the self pity, woe is me syndrome. That caused me to go into a very deep depression. I cried all day long – seemed like every hour on the hour, I found myself crying. I didn’t want to talk with anyone – the phone would ring and I ignored the calls. Most of the time, it was family and friends checking in on me to make sure that I was okay, but I was not in a good space. The truth is, things were pretty hard for me during that time.
Fast forward to 2011, I made up in my mind that was not going to be the end of my story and so I set things in motion to reclaim my life. I returned to work putting in half days and then I would leave work and go sit out by the ocean to take in some deep breaths. I sat there for what seemed like hours, breathing in and breathing out, working on rebuilding my stamina – mentally, spiritually, emotionally, and physically.
So there I was reclaiming my life and creating ways to activate my next level of greatness. I was inspired to write a book that will help others who perhaps was dealing with setbacks in their lives and needed a little inspiration to help them to rebuild. Finally, I was able to return to full days on the job; I was able to walk a good enough distance without feeling fatigued or losing my breath: Things were finally looking up for me. By this time, I was able to complete and publish my book which is by the way titled, Let Go and Let God. It was released on October 17, 2011. So yeah, my life felt normal again. I felt like I was reclaiming again what was once mine – my life. So things are sounding great right?
Well, one day after the release of my book, my nineteen year old son was shot in a drive-by-shooting – He passed away on October 31. And so, there I was yet again, faced with an unexpected tragedy. Everything that I had ever been through in life, did not, could not compare to death of my son.
I shared my struggle of dealing with the lost of my son in my second release title, And the Beat Goes On. I talked about donating my son’s organs and what that felt like. I talked about how I felt that God had betrayed me; and how I had to seek professional help in order to begin dealing with my lost in order to start my healing process. Although I’ll forever carry the pain of losing him and there’s not a day that goes by that I don’t think of him. But, I realized it wasn’t healthy for me to stay in that dark place and more importantly, I knew my son didn’t want me to stay there. In fact, he was cheering me on to keep moving on and still cheering me on, even as I share my story.
In spite of all of that and then some, here I stand living my life on purpose and helping those who are ready to make their possibilities a realty and live in their next level of greatness.